Wait, are we green or not?

Remember almost a couple years back when that so-called study said fat people are the cause of global warming?  Well, seems a trivia game (unfortunately, the game itself is not referenced) thinks we are actually “greener” cuz, you know, being obese and unhealthy makes us die faster.

The fail is strong in this one:

Epic Fail

Image from failblog.org.

I still have so far to go

Today I was talking on IMs with a long time friend.  We don’t get the chance to talk very often any more, due to schedules and being in different time zones, so when we do have the time to chat, it’s nice.  We both also have web cams, so we take the opportunity to do a web cam chat when we can. 

While on web cam tonight, I was also drinking a soda.  It’s diet soda, and I drink it because the regular sodas are way too sweet for me.  I became so used to diet sodas during all the time I was dieting, I just can’t go back to regular sodas now.  So, I took a sip out of the can, and my friend chastised me for it.

He told me that I was “bad” for drinking soda.  That I should drink tea without sugar (he’s in the south, and sweet tea is the default there).  Instead of telling him that I was drinking what I chose, what I liked, or any other of a hundred things I could have said that wasn’t defensive yet also told him what I eat or drink is none of his business, I asserted that what I was drinking was diet soda.  I even held the can to the web cam so he could see exactly what the can said.

Yeah.  I know.  It’s none of his business what I drink.  He doesn’t have any right to tell me what I can and can’t, and should or shouldn’t, eat or drink.  If I want to drink 5 gallons of full sugared sodas a day, that’s my choice.  And yet …

And yet, I found myself reverting back into old habits, explaining my choices, making sure people realized, no, I’m not a bad person for drinking what they think I’m drinking.  See, I’m virtuous, I’m drinking this diet soda!  No calories even!  (And yes, I did say, in my haste to explain, “It’s diet soda, no calories!”)

I managed to make it through Thanksgiving without any guilt.  I ate what I wanted, stopped when I wanted, and enjoyed everything I had.  I didn’t get drawn into the whole “I have to diet after I eat today” or drawn into the whole “we have to really exercise more now that Thanksgiving is over, don’t want to gain any weight” talk that was going on in the dojo for the past week following Thanksgiving.  And yet …

One conversation with an old friend, and I immediately revert to old ways of showing just how virtuous I am (you know, by not drinking the evil nasty high caloric drinks).

I still have so far to go on this journey.  Hopefully one day soon I’ll be able to say something like, “I drink what I like” or “my food choices don’t make me bad or immoral”.  At least, right now, I’m starting to recognize when I’m going back into old habits.  And for now, it’s good enough.

I still don’t know how to take compliments

One thing that keeps coming up in my life is that I don’t know how to take compliments. No, really. When somebody tells me I did something well, I usually start to show all the mistakes, or tell how it’s adequate but nowhere near perfect/what they were doing in the 16th century/some other reason why it’s not good.

Today, Conall and I went to the dojo, as they were doing more marketing. I love this dojo, really I do. Sometimes all the marketing they do to members frustrates me, though. Today’s marketing was for “Super Saver” for us to take double private lessons. We are already signed up for as much as we can afford, so the answer was going to be no. We knew that, Sensei knew that (told him so when he insisted I sign up for a slot), so everybody was on the same page.

Well, every so often I like to go girly. It surprises a lot of people when I do “girl up”, because the majority of the time they only see me in jeans and a t-shirt or sweatshirt/sweater. But, well, look at my life. Stay at home caretaker of my husband’s mother. Not too much opportunity to play dress up there. I’m pagan, so no church to go to once (or three times) a week and dress up for that. I get to play dress up for the SCA, but even that is usually simple tunic dresses and/or sideless surcoats on top of tunic dresses. The closest I get to “dress up” there is when I put on the head jewelry (I have a beautiful amethyst and quartz filet made by my heart sister, and a bronze circlet with some glass pearls dangling from it).

When I go to the dojo, I’m either in jeans and shirt or Gi. I mean, I’m going there to work out, I’m not going to be all dressed up.

Today, I felt like going girly. Yes, I still had jeans on, but my top was more dressy than I’ve worn to the dojo before, and instead of my hair being in a pony tail, I had my bangs combed forward, and my hair mostly loose, with the front stuff caught back out of my face with a silver barrett. Oh yeah, and I had some jewelry on (a white and red pearl necklace and earring set I made while back).

Conall and I walked into the dojo for our appointment, and Sensei J just about did a double take. He complimented my clothing, and then told me “wow, you are beautiful!” I just didn’t know what to say. He asked if I usually dress up, and I said no, just felt like it today. After telling me again that I looked really nice, we got down to business. He knew we’d say no, we knew we’d say no, so we did a lot of visiting that we can’t normally do around or during class time.

At the end of it all, as we were leaving, he complimented me again, and then said, “I know what it is that’s setting everything off so nice.” “What?” “The jewelry. The red and white pearls just make the whole thing.” I know I blushed. I mean … I made the jewelry he was complimenting so nicely, yanno?

I said thank you. At least I’ve learned how to just say thank you instead of saying there’s no way I can look beautiful or gorgeous or anything.

But I do have to say, it’s very hard for me to accept. For so much in my life, I’d been told how ugly I was because I was fat, that nobody would love me, that if I didn’t lose weight I’d have to settle for whomever was willing to look past my ugliness. To hear Sensei J tell me that I was beautiful …

I hope one day I will actually believe it when people tell me things like that. Until then, well, at least I’ve learned how to appear to graciously accept a compliment even when I don’t believe it.

Happy Thanksgiving

The turkey is stuffed and in the oven.  The eggs are deviled.  The pumpkin is pied.  The cheese is caked.

Only a little left to do before dinner, so I’m relaxing.

I hope everybody who reads these words have a day filled with warmth, love, and companionship.

Pictures, because it did happen

I know how it is on the internet.  People can say they do a ton of things, when they never do anything.  Hence the saying, “Pictures, or it never happened.”

Today, I tested for my yellow belt. 

The pictures are under the jump, as there’s a few of them there.  (I did receive permission from Sensei J to take and post the pictures.)

Testing for Yellow

Today, I’m going to be testing for my Yellow belt.  I’m extremely nervous about this.

If I survive, there may be pictures (depends on if Sensei allows). 

Did I mention I’m nervous about this?  Well, I am.  Maybe.  Just a little. 

 

ETA:  Test done.  I passed!  Picture post later!

Books and Covers

Yesterday, I took MiL for a hearing test.  She’s been loosing her hearing steadily for a while, and it finally affected her so much that she decided to see if there was something she could do.  As we were checking out, we were behind another older woman/younger (ie, middle age) woman couple checking out.  As obvious as it is that MiL and I are somehow related, it was that obvious about the other two ladies.

We all ended up in the elevator together, and while we were in there, the younger woman complimented MiL and me on our hair.  MiL’s hair is a strawberry blond, mine is an auburn.  I said thank you, MiL just smiled.  By that time the elevator had deposited us on the main floors and we all went our way.  Once we were in the car, MiL started fussing about the younger woman.

See, the younger woman had a buzz cut.  MiL was going on and on about how that woman was probably homosexual and couldn’t she see that we didn’t want any compliments from homosexuals.  I was floored.  What?  She got all that because the woman chose to shave her hair?  Right.

I’ve not been writing in this blog for a while.  I’ve been busy with other things, and learning how to juggle everything I’m doing.  One of the things I’ve been doing is Tai Chi.  The dojo I go to has increased group classes, giving me an extra day to be gone (from two hours of group classes to three), my husband has started taking Kenpo, so I’m often gone with him to his Kenpo classes, and I’ve started taking double private lessons as well.  So, at the dojo, this is working out to 4 hours of classes.  Of course, there’s time spent at home practicing the forms I learned in class as well.

In the last couple of months, I’ve had a handful of posts.  So imagine my surprise when I signed in yesterday and found a bunch of hits for this post I wrote last year, after I’d first started writing.  Of course, with the views, came the trolls. 

You know, trolls are remarkably unimaginative.  They think they are being all funny and new, and they are saying the exact same thing hundreds of other trolls have said (and who’s comments get deleted).  I mean, really, does anybody really think, for one minute, that I’m going to believe that Alton Brown commented on my post (over a year after I posted it) to be a concern troll?  Really?  Yeah, I’m not even a blip on his radar.

But see, here’s where the beginning of this post intersects with the rest of this post.  People read a post, maybe two, and see I am unashamedly fat, and think they know everything about me from that.  They tell me how I’m sweating to type up a post (because you know, all the exercise I’m getting by just typing, my word! it’s such an effort), how terrible my health is, how I’m being such a drain on my family and friends, not to mention the whole world with all the resources I must use up (because, you know, I’m FAT therefor I eat more and am so sick all the time I need to be at the doctor more often and and and and…).

Just by looking at me, you wouldn’t know that I’ve been to see the doctor exactly four times this year.  One was an annual well woman visit, once to be diagnosed with allergies (really, at 42 I develop allergies?  OY), and two time for other things.  Just by looking at me, you wouldn’t know that I’ve been going to a regular exercise program since the beginning of July, working out at least 7 hours a week (between classes, private instruction, and at home practice).  Just by looking at me, you wouldn’t know a whole bunch about me (like I love reading, I am artistic by nature, I am a care-giver for my elderly MiL and provide 90% of her care in a week, that I’m pretty flexible, that I love purple … okay, with as much purple clothing as I wear, you might get that one).

Much like the woman who complimented MiL and me on our hair yesterday, if you jump to conclusions about me because of your close-mindedness, well, your the only one that looses.  After all, MiL couldn’t accept the compliment a very nice woman gave both of us about our hair.  She kept going on and on about how dare that (she assumes) lesbian make any comment on her appearance.  Me?  I had a nice, warm feeling that somebody liked how my hair looks, especially since all I did yesterday was put it up in a pony tail!

Books and covers.  People know the saying about them.  When will they ever learn?

Post love

I’ve not been here in a while.    Been MIA, so to speak.  I’m coming back with a great post from a friend though.  She is NOT a person who is a Fat Activist.  She’s not even fat (as you will see).  However, she’s up in arms.

Please read Blaming The Fat.

Something to think about

This isn’t FA or HAES, but it’s something to think about.  I recieved it in my email this morning, fact-checked it through Snopes.com, and thought I’d pass it on.

 

Joshua Bell, world reknown violin virtuoso

 

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.
 
4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk…
 
6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again…
 
10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.
45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed.. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

 
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in  Boston  where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by theWashington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people ‘ s priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
 
 One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:  If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made … How many other things are we missing?

As promised — Lemon Curd Recipe

I do apologize for not knowing anything other than US measurements for baking and cooking.

3 large lemons (or 6 small ones)
1 cup sugar
4 eggs + 1 extra egg yolk
10 tablespoons cold unsalted butter (and yes, it does have to be real butter, margarine doesn’t work)
3 tablespoons heavy cream

Zest one whole lemon.  Juice all the lemons and add the juice, the zest, and sugar in a non-reactive pan.  Stir until all is combined, and then heat until the sugar is no longer granular (not quite at boiling).  Take off heat and let cool.  Meanwhile, whisk all the eggs and extra egg yolk together, along with the cream until well beaten.   Cut the butter into smallish cubes.  Once the lemon mixture is not so hot (but still warm) add a small bit to the egg mixture to temper the eggs.  Add the tempered eggs into the pan, along with the butter.  Cook over medium-low heat, stirring constantly, until the butter is all melted and the curd thickens up.

Take off heat and put the curd through a strainer to strain out all the solids (stray seeds, the zest, etc).  Store in the refrigerator for a week.  Or, you can freeze it for up to 3 months.

This produces about a pint of lemon curd.  It’s a bit on the tart side, so if you like sweeter, add a bit more sugar.

This can be served with pound cake, as a filling for a layer cake, as a dipping sauce for shortbread cookies, in mini pie shells as tartlets, as filling for thumbprint cookies …  If you think of other things to serve it with, let me know!  I’ve heard of putting it into plain yogurt, but I’ve never had enough Lemon Curd left over to try it in my morning yogurt!  One of these days…

Oh, this recipe can be doubled, but to try and make more than one double recipe at a time will result in burning, no matter how careful you are.  At least, it always has for me.