Well now…

It seems that some good will come of me being fat after all.

I’m sure that, now that it’s 2010, you have all heard about the end of the world (as we know it).  You know, the Mayan calendar resets ENDS on December 21, 2012!  The world will END!*  OH NOES!!11!!  

It seems a health club and spa in Britain has decided to use that idea to galvanize people into losing weight.  Oh, not the Mayan calendar but a different (yet still popular) end of the world scenario — little green men from outer space.

“Aliens will eat the fatties first!”

Looks like there’s a benefit to being fat after all.  I won’t have to worry about the end of the world, dying of disease or starvation or violence (because, since I’ve stockpiled literally tons of food others will use any method available to them, including my death, to get the resource of my vast underground food stash, natch). 

I knew there had to be a bright side to this!

*Just like the world ended in the 70’s (predicted by the book The Late, Great, Planet Earth), or in 1988 (predicted by a guy who used his knowledge of somebody else’s interpretation of Egyptian hieroglyphics to biblically prove the end of the world between September 9 and 13, 1988), or in the early 90’s (some interpretations about Nostradamus quatrains said nuclear war in the 90’s), or 2000 (Y2K!! Y2K!!!) or 2001 (cuz everybody knows the real Millenium started on 2001).  Uhhuh, you all believe that, right? 🙂


6 Responses

  1. My husband was suggesting we wait to watch the 2012 movie on December 21, 2012. And I said, “I don’t want to spend my last day on earth watching that stupid movie.”

    I don’t know, though. Would I rather be eaten alive by aliens or be crushed as the world folds in on its-self? It’s kind of a hard call.

    But I agree, either option is better than starving to death because I’m found myself in a Will Smith “I Am Legend” situation.

    • Hmmm, I was expecting the aliens wouldn’t want their food still wiggling though. I guess we’d have to figure out if they were “V” type aliens or “War of the Worlds” type aliens or “Independance Day” type aliens, or “Signs” type aliens (although I’m not sure the last two really wanted to eat humans as much as just wanted to kill us all so they could move into a slightly used, some renovations already made planet).

      At any rate, it would still be a faster death than the whole starving oneself to death like the “I Am Legend” movie.

      Although, with how people starve themselves to try to fit into an unrealisitic ideal, aren’t we sort of there (without the vampires and without the end of the world parts)?

  2. BTW, if we were to believe that we all have less than three years to live, how much sense does it make to be selling weight loss & improvement? Wouldn’t MOST sensible people, believing that they have less than three years to live, want to enjoy life as much as they can &, especially if they have spent much of their lives dieting, eat any damn thing they want for a change? I have been hearing predictions about the end of the world for as long as I can remember & the History Channel is making a good profit off the scare, running frequent programs about it, but I tend to think that the world will end when the sun explodes, which, last time I heard, was supposed to be in about another 90 million years. I expect to be very old by that time.

  3. I have a degree in anthroplogy specializing in mayan heiroglyphs…..AND THEIR CALENDAR DOESN NOT FUCKING END IN 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even the MAYANS alive today say that…….this end of the world stuff is just plain dumb.

    • *nods* Yup. They are saying, “WTF you guys talking about? The calendar doesn’t end! Must be some weird American thing.” And they roll their eyes at us.

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