This is part of the Friday series, one day late.
I have a hard time asking for help. Even when I obviously need help. I would rather struggle with something (say moving a full five gallon water container) than ask anybody for help. It’s part of my whole “damn yankee” thing.
Or, at least, that’s what I tell people it is.
I lived in the south for approximately twenty years. Whenever people (usually men) would offer to help with something, I’d do the whole, “Thanks, but I’m a damn yankee, I can do this myself.” Most times, that wouldn’t stop the guys from taking over anyway. Most times, I’d grump about how I could have done it on my own, giving a grudging “thanks” to the men being helpful.
I know where it comes from. As a child, whenever I asked for help, I was ridiculed, or worse. So I worked hard to not ever need help, even if it meant struggling with things that were obviously outside of my abilities. I never turned down doing something just because it was “too hard” when people asked me to do things. I never asked for help in doing things that turned out to be too hard.
But I’ve been watching people I know who are both independent and who have a good sense of self esteem (at least, in my estimation they do). And I’ve noticed something, with even the most fiercely independent person I know. If they need help doing something, they don’t hesitate to ask.
It’s really opened my eyes to how much I struggle to do things by myself that could go so much faster and easier if I could only ask for help.
I’m working on asking for help more, when I need it. When I really can’t do something by myself. It’s been hard, as I have years of conditioning to over come. But it’s happening.
Asking for help. Who knew it could be a positive thing in life?