A ping back from a weight loss feed?

Ummm, okay.

To everybody who’s followed a ping-back from the weight loss feed, welcome.  However, this is not the blog you are seeking.

My blog is about being fat and being fine with who and what I am.  My blog discusses things that will most likely be antithetical with the feed that pinged you back here.  It discusses universal issues of fat-phobia, Health At Every Size (HAES), Fat Activism (FA), as well as more personal issues like why I’m afraid to go to a new doctor and can I trust this new doctor isn’t going to be lazy and just diagnose me “fat” when there are real things that are wrong with me.

In this blog I will also rant, at times, about how correlations (IE, people who are obese sometimes also have conditions such as high blood pressure and etc) are not causations (IE, being fat will not GIVE me diabetes, I’m actually at no higher risk for diabetes than anybody else who doesn’t have genetic factors is, actually).   I will rant on how the fat-phobia is taking society to extreme positions (IE, taking children away from perfectly loving homes just because the children are overweight, and calling their parents “abusers” when there are children who are really being abused who are not getting rescued out of their situation because the system is already overloaded).  I will rant on how so-called experts slant things in ways they want and how news media, in this time of sound bites, don’t do the research they once might have (IE, the so-called experts who said global warming was all fat people’s fault were really statisticians who did mental masturbation with numbers that they pulled out of the air).

So, I’m afraid that the search engine looking for key words failed you this time.

Unless, that is, you are finally ready to get off the diet cycle and accept yourself for who you are.  Then please, come into my parlor, and lets have some good conversation.

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16 Responses

  1. I read the title of your blog and clicked, hoping sincerely that it was exactly what this post describes it as being. Hurrah! I struggle a lot with self-acceptance. I would much rather find myself beautiful as I am, and if I want to make healthy choices for myself I’ll do that – but I don’t want to starve or obsess or spend every minute of my life feeling inadequate because I don’t have the body of a 14-year old boy.

  2. Welcome to the blog, dangermarie! I hope you enjoy your stay.

    There are a lot of fat blogs out there, who talk about self-acceptance as well as Fat Activism and everything. I’m just a johnny-come-lately to the party. If you are interested, please visit my sidebar and click on the links to other blogs. They’re all good and contribute to the whole in unique ways.

    I can’t say that this will all be sunshine and roses in this blog. I struggle still sometimes with my own issues of self-acceptance (which are compounded by things that are not fat related at all), and some of that will come through in my writing occassionally.

    In my opinion, self-acceptance is a journey. Sometimes, the road is smooth and you can make good time towards the destination. Other times, there’s road work going on, or you’ve taken a wrong turn that ends up into a dead end, and you have to back track or stand idle for a while. But it all works out in the end to a happier and (possibly) healthier you.

  3. Well, I was just wondering earlier today, how many people out there who are overweight and happy with that. I am a bit on the fat side, and I want to lose 56lb – so I have just set up a food diary to help. Is it a case that the grass is greener on the other side (i.e. I believe I will be happier being thin than being fat), perhaps it is all in the mind, but I now need to find out (hence my new diet). I am glad you are happy how you are – your blog post has made me think.

  4. lose56, please, go read kate harding’s essay, “the fantasy of being thin”

    here

    eye-opening.

  5. I’m not fat. I’m 6’0″ tall and weigh only 135lbs. I am quite thin. I believe that deep down all overweight people would be much happier being thin than being overweight. I just think that a lot of them give up or decide that it’s too much work to change so they put on a facade and try to convince themselves and others that they’re perfectly happy the way they are.

    I don’t think that anyone should celebrate being overweight. And I don’t think that it is something that should be “accepted.” Most people who are overweight just don’t want to put in the effort it takes to change. Everyone should be accepted for who they are, but being overweight should not be considered a part of “who you are.” To me, it is merely a result of life choices and genetic predisposition. It can easily be changed. It is not a personality trait or anything related to who someone is as a human being. People should be accepted regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. Things that cannot be changed and that are attached to your core being. Weight is not one of those things.

    I question whether you are truly happy being overweight. You seem very defensive. I don’t blog about being thin or black because I don’t think about it from day to day. It’s just me and I’m fine with it. I feel as if you are trying to prove something. I seriously doubt doctors have an agenda against fat people and are actively trying to skew information to make the overweight population look bad. The media? Possibly. But doctors? No.

    I do believe that the population’s idea of what is considered “fat” is ridiculous. To me, a size 10 is not fat at all. I don’t see anything wrong with someone who has a few extra lbs. My primary concern is obesity. I could care less if someone has a muffin top or a little junk in the trunk. That is not fat to me. I worry about the person who can’t fit into a seat at the movie theater or who has trouble walking or taking care of themselves as a result of their weight. I do not consider someone fat until their weight affects their quality of life. It doesn’t seem to me like you are one of those people. So, if I were you, I wouldn’t consider myself fat. You just have a little more to love, I suppose.

    Anyway…I’ve enjoyed reading about you and I will certainly return.

    P.S. I hope you do not take offense to some of my remarks. I am only trying to be honest.

  6. BINGO

  7. Congrats, you got a concern troll!

    Absolutely zero, IMO your opinions are worth exactly that. Zero. Just on the remote off chance that you are not a troll, here’s some 101 reading for you.

    http://kateharding.net/but-dont-you-realize-fat-is-unhealthy/

    And just in case you thought you know what obese people look like,

    Mindy is "underweight."
  8. buttercup:
    Thanks. I let the comment through because, like I said at the beginning, I don’t expect people to walk in lock step with me.

    Even though this appears to be a concern troll, she is at least being semi-respectful. I will reply to her in a bit, when I can figure out what I want to say.

  9. absolutelyzer0, were you always thin, or have you dieted to get that way? I think it’s easy to assume that people who are overweight are just slackers if you have a metabolism that leans toward being thin.

    I’m kind of confused, though. You acknowledge that weight is related to genetic predispositions, but then you say it’s not part of who you are. That seems contradictory to me. Your genes are what make you who you are.

    And I’m also not so sure about weight loss being “easy”–if it were, everybody would be thin, and there wouldn’t be such a huge market for diet products and books and even weight-loss surgery! Like I asked before, do you have personal experience losing a bunch of weight (and keeping it off for a long time)? Or do you know someone who has and found it easy? Otherwise, that’s kind of an unfounded assumption on your part.

  10. absolutelyzero0:

    I absolutely believe that you believe what you are saying, but lets look at some of what the subtext is.

    First, you are calling me a liar by saying that I am not happy being fat. Yes, I know it’s your opinion, but when I say that I love my body, that I enjoy what it can do, that being fat doesn’t keep me from doing the things I love doing (including playing lazer tag and hiking in Garden of the Gods), you denying my reality is calling me a liar.

    You say that you don’t believe anybody should celebrate being fat. Why not? Society celebrates skinny people (like you). So why shouldn’t we also celebrate fat people. Or normal sized people? What’s the difference between you and me, really, other than genetics? 10″ in height, almost 100 pounds, and a skin color. So, why do you, at what is considered by most doctors to be an unhealthy BMI because you are too skinny (check it out if you don’t believe me) get to be celebrated because you happened to have the good fortune to be born to skinny parents who were also born to skinny parents?

    As far as your belief that most fat people just don’t want to put in the effort to lose weight, ummm… yeah. Again, you would rather tell people (and me) that they are lying than believe them when they say that diets. don’t. work. That “putting in the effort” takes over four hours of exercise a day AND eating starvation rations (500-700 calories a day) for very minimal results (yes, this is my personal story). You call liar those who have diseases that make losing weight all but impossible. You call liar those who have genetics working against them. You call liar those who are on medicines that cause weight gain (like birth control pills or anti-depressants).

    If I seem defensive, it’s because I’ve had to deal with people calling me a liar (like you just did) wrapped up in words that make it seem that they are just concerned about me since I was 14. If I seem defensive, it’s because I’ve been to too many doctors in my life who’ve taken one look at me and said that I was fat and if I’d just lose x amount of weight I’d be fixed, when my physical problems had nothing to do with being fat. If I seem defensive, it’s because I’ve had too many people call me a liar, saying there’s no way I could be fat and work out 4 hours a day and eat only 500 calories. Some of the people calling me a liar even go so far as to condescendingly say I’m deluding myself. You know, I *think* I’m working out that much, but obviously I’m not. I can’t be and still be fat.

    If I seem defensive it’s because I have had to claw and kick and scream for adaquate health care. It’s because I’ve almost been run over on the street by a bunch of teenage girls in a car, who had to cross over the street to try and run me over. Yes, they were trying to KILL me (although they didn’t see it that way). Why? Because I was fat. The words they taunted me with were “you’re so fat we can’t avoid you, get out of the way, you fat cow!” and “Why don’t you call Jenny Craig?!” It’s because a different car load (a different time) of so-called men started hurling insults at me and my then husband saying things like “Why don’t you put a wide load sign on her ass?” Oh, these last two things? Both done while I was exercising. Walking 4 miles a day at that point.

    So, you think with all the discrimination and hate I wouldn’t have already lost all this fat if I could? You say you think people just give up. Well, yes. See, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

    I finally realized that this is how I am, how genetics, a bad childhood where my parents starved me, continued bad nutrition as I starved myself, and yo yo dieting have gotten me to. I have two choices: either continue to do the same thing over and over and expect different results, or finally find some sanity, get off the cycle, and realize that I am awesome just the way I am.

    And I really don’t care if you don’t believe me when I say I’m awesome. I know I’m awesome. And that’s really what matters.

    P.S. I do take offense at your remarks. Because (as I’ve shown) you’ve called me a liar in a bunch of them. How is that not offensive?

  11. Thanks maggiemunkee – that was an interesting read.

    Stef.

  12. stef — the effort it takes to learn to love and accept yourself if worth it. way more worth it than a diet. be good to yourself. 🙂

  13. lose56lb:
    I want to welcome you to my blog. I was going to answer you yesterday, but maggiemunkee said what I was going to say before I had the chance to do so!

    maggiemunkee:
    Thanks for giving out those links. Yesterday was a bit hectic with a few things (including taking the step-kid to the airport an hour and a half away) so you giving those links like that helped me a lot. 🙂

  14. Oh, and since the previous was my first comment on your blog (found you through Shapely Prose), hi! 🙂

  15. Hi, KellyK. Welcome to my blog! 🙂

  16. I really like your blog, the first thing I need to do is get comfortable with myself.

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